in the photobooth.

I have somethings that have been plague-ing my mind lately,
and hopefully it will come out in the right words.



I'm not proud of everything I've done,
I would like to make that clear right now. Still i am the process of discovering everything that i can become, and i am not ashmed that I had to go down those paths. I've learned more about my problems during these times than i have throughout the rest of my life. It has taken times of great dispair to figure out what things made me most happiest.

I am not exactly sure where the path of life has yet to lead me but i'm going to be honest that i still feel guilt rush over me when i see you frown in the hallway, and when you smile
i feel like i need to cast my gaze down in an effort not to ruin your happiness.

But i need to say this. I'm done. I hope to become an amazing person when i grow up, i hope to change lives, and yes i do dearly miss you but...i will not spend the rest of this year wanting only you. I have big plans and I have a faith in which i should grow and i'm not going to let your feelings get in the way. I would love to be your friend.


Just not at the cost of admitting to something
I never did.


I want to love people, and i want to understand them. I want to hear their stories and their pains,
when they quarrled, and when they cried.
I want to write books about them, and tell them that they matter, they have such a big effect on my life.




I will not let this overtake my life
like it has for the last few months.
I have my lines,
I will become happy through time,
and if you ever want to talk to me again,


i'll be here
waiting,
just to listen,
with a cup of coffee
and a certain understanding,
only an exfriend,exgirlfriend, nonexsistant in your life
type of person


can give.


[bah bah, this is the sound of settling.]