this is the moment that you know

that you told her that you loved her.
but you don't.















half day tomorrow.
and out to lunch with people i haven't been with in a while.
















every day...
i dissolve a little more.

maybe I think your cute and funny

this is the only full day this week and i'm still having the hardest time getting up and making a decision to go to school.


my lang homework isn't done.




And all i want is you to hold...
[I see you today :]]


God...
I am pathetic.

a late night.

I went to the twilight midnight movie...and was thoroughly enthralled in a makeout scene enough to let out a huge sigh at the end and have lauren giggle at me for a good minute.




My god...that movie made me miss kissing you

It is snowing

therefore,
I will except that as your rejection.




Wait,
They don't love you...like I love you.

I promise, I'll never ever complain.

no more text or facebook messages.
poke wars.
or awkward meyer music visits.


i want you for my birthday.
nothing more
and nothing less.

there are just too many things I haven't done yet.
Too many sunsets I haven't seen.
You would've thought by now...
I would've learned something

Will I see you today? I can only hope.

800 mg. ibuprofen

Do you know that feeling that you get right when you wake up...
like your mind is a clean slate?


You remember nothing.
You feel nothing.
Just the sleepiness of the night before.






I love that feeling.
I could fall in love with that feeling.

swinging on these changing thoughts

[coffeehouse]
things that make me happy.
-when i feel music...not just hear it but feel it.
-extra chocolate chips in my mocha eclipse
-free wifi
-poetry in unwonted places
-flirting through text messages
-slipper shoes
-teachers making jokes about you
-hysterical laughter
-making the green arrow
-children being mischevious
-snow days
-7 hour beds











these things
will keep me alive.

I'm on the outside of love.

Someone told me to make it a point
to start writing again.


Well here I am.



I have three papers due this coming week and I have to go to work in about a half hour, which means I need to finish the first of those papers by tonight before I sleep.


It's about chivalry.





The gay man that I have an infatuation with is talking to me via facebook chat every now and then and he makes me smile because I realized after talking to him that




Muskegon
is a very insignificant part of the world.










Did we sacrifice feelings
for facade?